I burn like 2000 calories everytime i put my bed sheets on by myself
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs
If i got to squeeze some booty right now i’d be truly grateful
YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GIF
But.. that’s my life..
i wanna talk about it but i really dont wanna talk about it